you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
