i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
