She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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