i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
