At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
