just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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