if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
