Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize