You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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