So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
