He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize