definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
