Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
