Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
