youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
