Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
