so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
