i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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