strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
