9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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