I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize