And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
