Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
