Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
