I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
