chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
