is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize