Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The adults are the big ones right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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