i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
