i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
