$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
