If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
