I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
