ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize