I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
