I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
