Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize