Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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