I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
