She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize