Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
