If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
