I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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