i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
