i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
