There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize