Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
