oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
