I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
