I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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