You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
