We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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