his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize