Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
