I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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