he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
