I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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