and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
