he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Even my vagina gasped.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
