Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
