You can't motorboat a personality
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
