I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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