i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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